


The Rest of Our Lives

by mariothellama



Series: Home is where the heart is [3]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Anal Sex, Comfort Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grief and Loss, Guilt, Happy Ending, Hope for the future, Hugging, Kissing, Love, M/M, Making Love, Mention of loss of a parent, Robert is a doctor formerly in the Polish army, Thomas is Bavarian but a former US airman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-15 04:22:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13605444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/pseuds/mariothellama
Summary: A sequel to 'Home is Where the Heart is'.Thomas and Robert have found their way back to one another and are building a new, happy life together. There is still one cloud on the horizon, but Thomas is there to support and comfort his beloved Robert.





	The Rest of Our Lives

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Janie94](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/gifts).



> My dearest Janie94
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! I hope that you have a wonderful, amazing, brilliant day, full of all the good things that you deserve.
> 
> It had to be a Müllendowski birthday fic of course. Perhaps this isn't the fluffiest birthday fic I have ever written, but that seems somehow fitting for you. But it is full of eternal Müllendowski love. I have more chapters of the rest of their lives together in my head and one day I might well come back and write them.

Thomas sat on the sofa staring into the fire, watching the flames flicker and dance. Normally he loved nights like this, snuggled up with Robert by his side in their cosy living room. But not tonight. Tonight all he could think about was Robert and how much he both longed for and dreaded the man he loved being by his side again.

They had made a good life together over the past two years. Robert was building his practice as a family doctor in the new National Health Service and was loved and respected by all of his patients. It had done Thomas’s heart good to see the lines of worry and grief gradually fade from his partner’s handsome features. The trauma of his experiences had haunted him for a long time and there had been all too many nights when he’d woken up shaking and shivering for Thomas to comfort him after a particularly vivid nightmare. Thankfully the night terrors were a rarity now, for which Thomas would be eternally grateful.

Thomas too was rebuilding his life. He had had to go back to the U.S. to sort out his affairs and the three months he’d spent apart from Robert after they had finally found one another again had been the longest three months of his life. But he’d come back, finishing his interrupted education in Edinburgh. He had just started his new job, as a history teacher and games master in a private boys’ school.

Technically he was Robert’s lodger and had his own bedroom to maintain the fiction that they were just close friends who’d met during the War. So many lives had been shattered and broken over the past decade that people tended not to ask too many questions and they had a cleaning lady to act as a ‘witness’ to their leading separate lives. Both of them hated having to hide the true nature of their relationship, but it was sadly necessary, especially given the nature of their chosen professions. Neither of them wanted to risk losing each other again or giving up everything they’d worked for. And it was worth it for the nights spent curled up next to each other in bed, or the comfortable evenings spent lingering round the kitchen table after their evening meal.

Tonight had been just such an evening, the two of them sitting in the warmth of their kitchen talking about their days. But then had come a knock at the door. Robert had gone to answer and Thomas knew what this unannounced visit meant as soon as his love came back into the kitchen with two men he’d met before, both Polish former service comrades of Robert’s.

Thomas had noted the grateful look on Robert’s face as he excused himself, saying that he’d wait in the living room. Of course he longed to stay by Robert’s side, but that would just have made it harder for both of them. For him to witness the receipt of potentially bad news, to have to watch the recently scabbed over wounds on Robert’s soul being so cruelly ripped open again, but not to be able to comfort the man he loved would be doubly painful for both of them. It was better that he waited for Robert to be ready to come to him, until he could comfort and support his love in the way Robert wanted and needed.

But the waiting was agony. This had been the one dark shadow clouding their happiness. Robert had accepted that he would forever be an exile, unable to return to his home country even for a short visit, but not knowing what had happened to his family had eaten away at him. He’d had no contact with them, not even known where they were, for over five years now. And now the news had come, the certainty they had both longed for, but perhaps also the grief and heartbreak they’d feared.

Thomas heard the front door shut. They were alone now. He stayed where he was, trusting Robert to come to him when he was ready. He only had to wait for a few minutes until Robert came into the living room, not saying a word, simply lying down on top of Thomas, wanting to be held.

So Thomas held him, not saying a word either, waiting for Robert to speak, even though the hand fisted tightly into the fabric of his shirt confirmed all of his worst fears. He stroked his fingers up and down Robert’s back soothingly, kissing the dark hairs on the head nestled snugly beneath his chin.

Finally Robert began to speak, his voice muffled, his face buried against Thomas’s chest.

‘My mother and sister are safe. They’re back in Warsaw. They … they were in a labour camp in Germany and the city was in such chaos when they returned, that was why I could find no trace of them.’

Thomas still said nothing, simply keeping on stroking Robert’s back, sure that the bad news was still to come.

‘B-b-b-b-but my father didn’t make it. He died four years ago … He’s been dead all this time and I didn’t even know it.’

What did you say to that? ‘I’m sorry’ was so inadequate, but it was all that could be said and it had to be said. So Thomas tightened his grasp round his love, pressing gentle kisses against his hair as he murmured ‘I’m so sorry’ over and over again.

After the silence came the anger and the guilt. Robert beat his fists against Thomas’s chest, blaming himself, torturing himself.

‘I should have been there for them. If I hadn’t left … left with the army … if I’d stayed with my family … looked after them … I could have saved them … him … he might still be … ’

The truth was that if he’d stayed, Robert would almost certainly be dead himself. And he’d been doing his duty for his people, for his country, doing exactly what his family had wanted him to do when he’d left his homeland with what remained of the Polish forces. But it wasn’t the right time to tell him that. Robert would see it for himself one day. Right now he was too wracked with guilt and pain to think of anything else, so Thomas simply rocked him tenderly in his arms.

And then came the grief, huge, painful sobs that made Robert’s entire body shake, soaking the front of Thomas’s shirt with his tears. Thomas just held him, letting him cry out all of the pain and the loss, the fears he’d kept locked up inside for too long now.

After there were no more tears left inside him to cry, Robert lifted his face up to look at Thomas, his beautiful blue eyes rimmed with painful red. Thomas kissed his tear-stained cheeks, kissing away the tracks of his tears, and Robert smiled faintly, smiled for the first time since he’d opened the door earlier that evening.

‘Thank you,’ whispered Robert, his voice hoarse from crying and sobbing. ‘Thank you for being here for me.’

‘I’ll always be here for you. For whatever you need. I love you so much, Robert.’

Robert bit his lip thoughtfully. ‘Would you … would you think that I’m a terrible person if I asked you to make love to me right now?’

‘No. Never. Whatever you want.’

‘I don’t know what I want. What I need. I just know that I need you. I need to feel something that isn’t … that isn’t the aching abyss of pain and loss. And I trust you to know what I need for me.’

Thomas’s heart clenched at all the love and trust that Robert was placing in him. He would do whatever was in his power to help Robert begin to heal. He very gently turned Robert onto his back, settling himself over him, hoping that his weight on top of him would help to ground Robert. It seemed to be working as he felt some of the tension drain out of his love’s body.

He gave Robert a moment or two to relax, making sure that he really wanted this, before bending down to kiss him. Their kiss was soft and gentle at first, as delicate as the flutter of butterfly wings, as Thomas gently licked and nibbled at Robert’s lips, moistening lips that were dry and cracked with grief. Soft sighs told him when Robert was ready for more, his lips parting willingly for him as Thomas licked his way inside. Despite the circumstances, he felt that familiar jolt of lust as their tongues touched for the first time. And he knew that Robert was feeling it too, responding to Thomas’s tongue deep in his mouth, licking and caressing every tender, responsive spot.

Robert was moaning slightly by now, sweet little moans that sounded more like whines, his body pressing up against Thomas’s seeking more friction. But Thomas didn’t move, simply concentrated on kissing Robert senseless, on kissing every thought out of his mind that didn’t involve Thomas and him making love. It was only when he was sure that he had been successful in his mission that he started to kiss along Robert’s jaw, mouthing little bites along his jawline, licking and nibbling at his ear as he unbuttoned Robert’s shirt with one hand.

He managed to ease Robert out of his shirt, kissing down his chest. His kisses were wet and open-mouthed, sucking red marks into Robert’s flesh, knowing that Robert really needed to feel the touch of his mouth, feel it wet and vivid against his skin. He licked over the sensitive spot just above the waistband of Robert’s trousers, before undoing the fastenings and easing them down along with his underwear.

Despite the circumstances, Thomas couldn’t help being aroused at the sight in front of him, at the sight of his Robert hot, hard and naked, his gorgeous cock straining upwards, begging for attention. He quickly stripped off his own clothes, reveling in the greedy, lustful look on Robert’s own face as his eyes drank in his lover’s naked body.

It was Thomas who groaned loudly this time as he lay back down on top of Robert, the feel of their naked bodies touching and their bare cocks rubbing together just too delicious for him to remain silent. He kissed Robert once again, this time long and loving, passionate and tender. He would gladly have let Robert take him, even though he knew that it was going to be uncomfortable like this. He would rather have suffered the pain himself, anything rather than hurt the man he loved. But his instincts told him that Robert needed to be taken, needed to feel him deep and hard inside.

This wasn’t the time to break off to go in search of something to use as lubricant. He gave Robert his fingers to suck, even though he almost lost it at the feeling of the hot, wet suction round his fingers and the rapturous, downright filthy look on his love’s face. They never broke eye contact and Thomas groaned out loud again at just how hot, just how mind-blowingly sexy Robert was like this.

Once his fingers were as wet as possible, he started to kiss Robert again. Robert spread his thighs for him, wanton and needy, inviting Thomas to touch him. Thomas stroked over his entrance, keeping his movements gentle but the pressure firm. He faltered at the loud hissing sound Robert made as he forced the tip of one finger through the tight outer ring of muscle, knowing that it must burn slightly.

‘S’okay. S’good. Need this,’ Robert reassured him, his voice thick and clouded with desire.

He kept his movements slow and careful, circling his finger, stretching and relaxing his love for him, pushing further inside while his tongue licked and thrust deep inside Robert’s mouth, trying to distract him. There was a sharp intake of breath as he added a second finger, but Robert was soon relaxed again, his hips instinctively arching up into Thomas’s touch.

He kept this up for as long as he could bear, wanting Robert to be as loose and open for him as possible, biting back his own overwhelming need. Despite all his efforts, Thomas knew that he was a lot bigger and thicker than the fingers that had comfortably worked their way inside Robert and that entering him was bound to cause him some pain.

He kissed Robert once more, almost begging for forgiveness, desperately trying to put every ounce of his love and devotion into that one, single kiss. As if in response, Robert’s body shifted under him in invitation, his thighs opening wider in welcome. The head of Thomas’s cock was wet and sticky with desire and gave him just enough additional lubrication to be able to push inside. He would always have paused for a moment to give Robert the chance to catch his breath after the initial intrusion, but he had to stop for a moment to regain control himself. The incredible feeling of Robert hot and tight, clenching round the incredibly sensitive head of his cock was almost enough to send him over the edge.

But Thomas knew that his love needed to feel him deep within, filling and stretching him, chasing away the dark emptiness and filling it with love and warmth, so he slowly and surely let himself sink inside, carefully watching the expression on Robert’s face, marvelling at how well he was taking it. He paused once again when he was buried balls deep in his love, their bodies pressed hard together, letting Robert savour the sensation of being completely and utterly filled by the man who loved him with all of his heart. Silent tears shone wet on Robert’s cheeks, tears of emotion not tears of pain, and Thomas kissed them away, his heart singing at the sweet, shy smile on Robert’s face as he did so.

Robert’s arms were already locked round Thomas’s neck, holding on tight, and now he wrapped his legs round his lover’s waist, urging him to move.

Thomas thrust in and out of Robert as slowly and carefully as he could, as if his love were the most precious piece of costly china to be cherished, cared for and protected, letting their desire build gradually. He couldn’t tear his eyes from Robert, from the gorgeous body pitching and arching in ecstasy underneath him, skin glimmering with the faintest sheen of salt sweat in the soft gleam of the firelight. And Robert’s face was radiantly beautiful, flushed and glowing with passion. His love fought to keep his eyes open, fought to maintain eye contact, but finally the overwhelming sensations flooding his body became too much to bear and he shut his eyes, his head thrown back against the sofa cushions.

He could feel his climax beginning to writhe and coil at the base of his spine and in the pit of his stomach, the telltale fullness gathering in his groin. Thomas was determined that Robert would come first though, so he subtly shifted the angle of his thrusts, making sure that each and every one would hit that special spot that always made Robert delirious with desire. This time was no different. His soft, shallow thrusts meant that Thomas wasn’t so much hitting Robert’s sweet spot as constantly caressing it with the thick, heavy weight of his cock as he moved in and out. And Robert’s reaction was as mind blowing as ever, his unrestrained ‘ooooooohs’ and ‘aaaaaaahs’ of pleasure music to Thomas’s ears.

He fucked Robert through his orgasm with gentle thrusts, his lover’s body convulsing underneath him, his back arching up off the sofa as he twitched and pulsed wet against Thomas’s belly. It was only once Thomas was absolutely certain that Robert was spent and satisfied that he pushed more forcefully into him, aware that Robert would be sensitive and overstimulated by now. He came buried deep inside Robert, filling his love with the proof of his passion, telling him how much he loved him, over and over again.

Thomas pulled out as gently as he could, twisting round so that Robert was now lying half sprawled on top of his body, limp, satisfied and pliant, whimpering and sighing softly as he relaxed in Thomas’s embrace. There was a blanket over the back of the sofa and he managed to pull it down with just one arm, loosely draping it over the two of them so that they could snuggle warm and cosy. They lay there together in contented silence, the crackling of the fire now a source of comfort and security, a sound that spoke of home to both of them.

‘I know that I should be grateful for everything I have. For my life here. For you. For what we have together. That my mother and sister are alive, even if I may never see them again. I have so much when so many have lost everything. But it still hurts, hurts really badly,’ Robert said eventually.

Thomas nosed gently against Robert’s cheek before kissing his soft, dark hair. ‘Yes, you have all those things, but it’s still alright to be upset. None of that takes away the pain of loss. It just gives you hope to go on living.’

Robert lifted up his head to look at him with a quizzical look on his face. ‘When did you get to be so wise and philosophical, Thomas Müller?’

‘Oh, you’d be surprised. I have my moments,’ grinned Thomas.

Robert smiled, that warm, beautiful smile that lit up his whole face, the smile Thomas knew and loved and had feared that he might never see again.

‘I love you so much, Thomas. I’m so grateful that we found each other.’

‘I love you too. You have made me happier than I ever dreamed was possible. And I’ll be here for you, whatever you need, for the rest of our lives.’

They kissed. This time there was still an echo of pain and grief in their kiss, but the love, the tenderness, the hope for the future, for the rest of their lives together, outweighed the lingering sadness.

 


End file.
